A wonderful ballet: Petrushka

In our school, students from the 10th grade upward are given the opportunity to participate in a monthly subscription to opera/theatre/ballet performances. For me this is now already the 3rd year that I am taking part in these, and I have learned so much from it and have enjoyed these performances very much.
Yesterday evening was again one of those performances. I had to choose if I would attend the big school carneval party, or if I would go to the ballet. Many of my friends choose the party. I, however, was fed up with people, with partying, with relationship and stuff, and I was glad to escape this whole situation for one evening. A few weeks ago I had heard on the radio a performance of Stravinsky's ballet suite "Petrushka" performed by two piano players, and it sounded wonderful to me! So energetic, so exciting rhythms, so wonderful sounds and harmonies. I was, therefore, looking forward very much to hear the full orchestral version for the very first time, and at the same time to see the whole thing performed as a ballet.

These theatre excursions also have been always very exciting for me: it was a short break-out from the small town life into the big city. The ride on the bus takes about one hour. Driving along the river downstream, then entering the motorway for a while, then the exit. Meanwhile it is already dark, and the nightly illumination of the streets somehow adds to excitement for me as we drive through the suburbs towards the city centre. I press my face against the window, trying to capture all that there is to see. The bit stone grinders shop which always has a lot of marble gravestones on display, together with some tacky marble statues. The orange lit traffic intersections, so much bigger than in my little home town. The tramways passing by. And then, towards the centre, some skyscrapers, fully lit offices inside. Getting off at the theatre, I am excited as always. The smell of rubber from the entrance to the subway always makes me wanting to go down there and take a ride.

The theatre is a modern building, with a large glass front towards a public square and a balcony there to go out. I love to just walk out there during the intermission, look down at the square, up to the skyline of the sky scrapers around. A feel of "big wide world" is there, open, with opportunities. Not like in my little cosy provincial home town.

First there is the ballet Orpheus - I am not very thrilled. But after the intermission Strawinsky's ballet Petruschka is being performed. I am stunned. Have never seen a ballet before, just some excerpts on TV, and then I was not too excited about those pirouettes and stylised dance forms. But this here was very expressive, all emotions put directly into motion. And the music... I love it so much! The story about that dumb clown Petrushka who is in love with that silly dancing girl, who is in turn just attracted by the dashing other guy... I can so identify with this. Is always the same.

C is also here in the group. B decided to go to the school party. This again indicates something against my wishes... but what can I do? C is very interested in the "finer things" in life, into intellectual discussions, into art, society. We have a lot to talk about. But B is so much more "dashing"... I have just fallen for her. Maybe I am the silly dancer here...?
This is also something that concerns me so much, that inhibits all my moves: I face two fronts. On one hand I want to win B, want to be with her, and she not with me. On the other hand, C wants to be with me, and I not with her. So I am double making something wrong... should I just turn? 180 deg, as I have considered in the past 2 weeks? Maybe...

But for now I want to forget about my own little problems, and I enjoy the feelings which this wonderful music gives to me. I wish I could write a music like this...