It is different now

I have to say that something really has happened in the past few weeks.
Remember?
A few weeks ago, 9.December, I reflected on how they were happy to see me at school, in the break when we met, when they approached me to chat and have a nice time.
Now all that is different, the great progress could not be stopped.
Today int he break, when I walked towards them joyfully, with my heart beating faster, just looking forward to meet B, to talk to her... I almost do not dare to write it... they turned away. Changed their direction. Walked to the side, avoided meeting me.
Yes, that is how times change.
My reaction: short circuit - backwards.
I turned around 180 degree, back into the hall, looking for cover.
Peeked out again once in a while, but now I did not dare anymore to come out.
After school I tried again a short-circuit, this time forward.
But god had prevented this, they were not even in their class room anymore.
Bravo, go on!
When I look at this almost passed week, I wonder why I am still alive. I should be dead by now.
But also for tomorrow I plan - short-circuit. No more inhibitive thinking.
We will see. It cannot be worse than now.

Almost I had forgotten what I urgently wanted to write.
Careful, it is very important.
For the first time I will pin down in writing, so that it does not run away:
ok short-circuit now: I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH, B
so, and now once again:
I really like you very much, B.
B, B, B,
So, now I feel better. Everything clear now?
Ok.