Just ramblings

There is really nothing to write about.
I have just read the draft of my letter to her, which I then actually sent.
Cold sweat came onto my forehead.
No wonder she is not anymore looking at me!
And I thought about it being such an achievement.
Such a crap letter!
It has destroyed the last rest.
Today in school I saw her how she watched me talking to C.
Ha!
I have not looked at here at all but went immediately afterwards into the classroom.
Now I am showing myself to be tough. I have completely accepted that it is over. And she probably too! No need for her to pretend. Constantly I see her with that guy R. And I know that she is the initiative part in that "relation", not he! Just like it had been with me, before the holidays. In December and during our trip she was the one who had the initiative (at least that is what I noticed), but I reacted quickly and too developed feelings.
Well, it is over now,
She has to see how she will continue in her life.
It is a very worrying thought that she still has this letter.
When she is reading it later sometime, she will have a good laugh!
But what the hell.
Today I talked a lot with C. How often have I written that nevertheless there is no feeling? I will just pretend as good as I can.
But Bee I will completely disregard.
In recent days I had the thought to talk about all this with her best friend St.
But now I discard this thought, would not bring anything anyway.
But would be a good finish of this relations.
Oh holy crap!