Made a mistake?

Today...
now I did have done something wrong.
I did not write her a card and was happy with that, happy that I have been separated myself from her so well.

I do not understand anything anymore. Maybe there is god? Did he listen to my crying yesterday and my desperation?

How did I make up my mind, when I considered my actions in the past?
Better use chances, better be alert, just act smart...

Today was a day.
In the morning I was frustrated. Got only 5 of 15 points in Religion. And then Uta asked in front of the whole class outrageously, if I had a girl friend.
I smiled cool. Externally.
But internally I was a volcano. And all that because of Ch!
She was it with whom I had been sitting outside, with whom I had talked...
but thank god I only saw her very briefly yesterday. She thanked for the card, then done.
Today I avoided any contact with her, I always avoided meeting her. Good. With a slightly bad conscience.

In history today 13 of 15 points. Good, makes me forget the the 5 points earlier.
And then in sports - 15 points, with a superhuman effort. And then again 9-10 points. Madness.

But the happiest, most embarrassing, most terrible... I got a card form Bee!
I jumped to the ceiling out of shame. And I had written none, out of spite. What will I do now?

You will see!