Only the past...

I am hanging in the past.
The whole time recently I have thought about December 1980.
The happiest time of my life so far: 8 Dec - 12 Dec. Only buoyancy, increase.

To live in the past is the best. The past we have in our hands.
We can manipulate it, change it, whitewash it. It always was better than the present.

The present is cruel, not at all according to our wishes and imaginations.

The future is not in our hand. Only the past offers the possibility of reflection.
"unshaved mandarin shavings"
Oh no, not again!