Neverending feelings...

So what has happened?
It was during the Easter Sunday mass. Our whole gang was in the chorus. Everybody was there, C who gave me that nice Easter nest, and also Bee. She looked pale, somehow tired. I began to feel some worries for her, some pity. But did not speak to her - we have not spoke in weeks.
During the service, Bee fainted. Her parents took her home.
I got worried so much for her. And that was when I noticed that all my surpressed feelings for Bee were there again. Nothing had changed. And I got really mad, after realizing that there was nothing that I could do against those feelings. And even worse, that there was nothing to make those feelings real, to have a love relationship with Bee. No chance!
And so I continue my desperation. Not sure how it will end, I do not see any light anymore. The tunnel seems to be endless...